ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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