I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
