Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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