why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
