I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do vagina's smell?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
