this beer tastes like vomit already
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
