should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
