There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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