and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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