Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
There's even glitter on my cock...
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