he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it glows. i had to have it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
