I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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