Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I would fuck him just for his dog
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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