Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
