R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
