Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
