I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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