So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
