I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
