): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
