i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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