You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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