the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
