well most of my day revolves around power hour
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
