yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
