If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
