I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
