Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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