It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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