I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
