And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
