I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
