now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
