You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
