Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
