well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
