He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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