Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I want is dick and wine.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize