so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
