So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
