You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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