Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
