How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
