another moral hangover. fuck.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
