i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
