Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
its not stalking. its research.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
