yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
