If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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