i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
