on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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