she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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