Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
