absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
