This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
