You just made me feel so damn special
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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