throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
