okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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