the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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