my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
