I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
