But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
