Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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