Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
