and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
