What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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