Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
