I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
