He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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