How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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