Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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