worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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