i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
