Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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