I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My pussy is not your playground.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
