So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize