Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
