I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
