My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
