fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
