In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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