Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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