He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
